PIVOT!

One gripe that always hits me when it happens, but that I seem to let go, is the Commuter Butt Pivot.

You know it. You've experienced it. You may even be guilty of it. You just hadn't thought about it.

You're seated in the inside, by the window, and need to get out. You say politely, "excuse me." to your neighbor on the aisle, and then gather your stuff to stand up.

The person doesn't stand.

They pivot.

I call it the Commuter Butt Pivot. They turn their knees to the side, into the aisle, without ever leaving their seat.

This assumes many things:

1) that my butt is small enough to slide by your pivoted body without slamming into you the entire way past
2) that my hands are empty, and I'm not dragging a purse, laptop bag or shopping bag, that will hinder my movement
3) that I want to be that close to you, and have you feeling the literal weight of my body in your face
4) that it won't annoy the crap out of me that you can't even bring yourself to stand up to let me by
5) that I am a sane passenger with extraordinary amounts of patience

All of which aren't true. You know what they say about assuming!?!

All I can hear in my head is Ross Gellar shouting "PIVOT! PIVOT!" as I squeeze my 6' body, my purse, bag, crapola, etc. past you only to rocket out into the aisle like a shotput from an Olympic arm.

(For you non-"Friends" fans, I'm sorry. Can't help you with the old pop-cultural reference. You should have watched more Must See TV in the 90s.)

Anyway. The butt pivoters have to go. I mean, really. Is it THAT hard to stand up to kindly let me out?

Yeah, didn't think so.

One more time for good measure. All together now.

PIVOT!