Oddly Enough

As a blogger, I have taken to noticing strange human behavior a little more regularly than I used to. It makes for good fodder and I cannot help but share the little tidbits that I see along the way.

And, spending so much time in the airports lately has given me plenty of time for some good quality people watching. In fact, I think it is the best place to witness the strange melding of cultures, ages and demographics that comprise this great country of ours.

I will say, however, that there are quite a few oddballs out there.

Case in point:

I was sitting at Newark Liberty International Airport, my second home these days, waiting patiently for a seriously delayed flight. I saw a well-dressed 30-something man with a backpack walk over to the bank of pay phones that were flanking the wall behind my seat. At first my thought was, 'Huh. I didn't know people still used pay phones anymore.' And then I watched him. He slowly, but deliberately, put his finger and thumb inside each change slot and felt around for a spare quarter, dime or other un-retrieved coin. One by one, he checked the change return of each phone. Finding nothing, he just walked away and sat down to await his flight. Three men and I were all watching him, and we all exchanged glances and made faces of 'Okaaay. That was strange.' while we pondered his rationale. Then the man nearest to me, who was likely 60+ in a neatly tailored business suit, said aloud, "Now that's going on my Facebook page." I wasn't sure whether to laugh, or nod in agreement. This is one strange and amusing world.

And yet another example:

While wandering around in SoHo last Wednesday, enjoying the fact that I had a day of no meetings, only one conference call (that I conducted while sipping a cold drink seated on a park bench bask in in the shade of a large tree) and no travel companions or clients to entertain, I explored an area of NYC that I'd never seen before. I traipsed up and down side streets, got intentionally lost only to consult my pocket map unabashedly playing the role of tourist, I window shopped at the fancy stores and actually shopped at the affordable boutiques, and I luxuriated in a long lunch inside a cafe with the garage-door-style front wall wide open, sipping chilled white wine and loving the taste of a ladylike lunch by myself. As I stopped at a Starbucks to use their restroom (I bought a drink out of sheer and unnecessary guilt), I waited patiently in the line for the use of one of the unisex bathrooms. A scruffy and unwashed man in many layers of dirty clothing was in line in front of me. Having a full-blown conversation with himself. As I eavesdropped, I could tell that at least one of his personalities was not happy with the other. There seemed to be a fight on the verge of breaking out. I stepped back, cautiously, in the event that words became blows. Lucky for me, the restroom door opened, and the man entered the one-seater restroom and locked the door, revealing the 'Occupied' sign above the door handle. Silently thinking (and feeling a bit ashamed for feeling it), I looked longingly at the other door in clear hopes that the door would open before the one with our fighting man inside. No such luck - the door of the stall with the man inside opened wide, and in a loud voice, he announced to me that I should beware that the man before him must have "peed all over the walls in there" and that I "shouldn't touch anything or sit down." Now I'm all in favor of a friendly stranger's heads up, and would certainly heed his advice. I gingerly opened the door (I was desperate, and couldn't stand to wait for the other room to become available) and saw that nothing seemed out of place. The walls, fortunately, were not dripping, and the floors were scrubbed clean and dry. Since I know better than to ever sit on a public restroom seat, I took normal precautions, finished up and washed and dried my hands. Exiting the restroom, my 'restroom advisor' was standing outside the room waiting for me. He loudly berated me for not listening to him and for using the restroom despite his advice. I scurried past him, hoping to avoid a confrontation. The Starbucks employees watched me leave in a hurry, only to have my "friend" shout across the entire coffee shop - which was full - "I hope you get a VD for not listening to me!" Yep. That's what he said. I didn't look back - I can only imagine what the other patrons must have thought. Shaking from anger and shame, I stepped out into the sunshine and continued my trek through the unfamiliar neighborhood. Without a VD to speak of, mind you.

So, if nothing else, being a frequent business traveler has reminded me of one truth in life:

There are a lot of really strange people out there. Some act funny. Some talk to themselves. Some yell at you. Some don't shower. Some have quirky habits. Some give you unsolicited advice.

And, some cute young gentlemen will sit next to you in first class, while you're gloating about the surprise upgrade into the larger seat with free wine, and will offer you a pen with which to embark on your crossword. And, he will celebrate with you when you solve the tough clues. He will smell manly and good seated elbow to elbow with you, and his eyes will sparkle in the dim overhead lighting as he smiles at you, and he will remind you (without saying a word) that you are attractive, and will find other men attractive again. He will not, however, encourage you to work up the nerve to ask him his name, or where he's from, or where he's going.

I guess that makes me the oddball here.

Next time.