Perennially Unsatisfied

I finally figured it out.

People in Chicago like to have something to complain about.

The weather, specifically.

The very same people that bitch and moan all winter because it is too cold, too dry, too windy and too unbearable outside are the ones that, now with summer here, are complaining that it is too hot, too humid, too stifling and too unbearable outside.

Did you see the ironic paralells there? No? I'll point them out more overtly:

cold vs. hot...
dry vs. humid...
windy vs. stifling...
...all equal unbearable.

I know people in Chicago are considered tough characters. One look at the crowd at a Bears Game, one study in history of the famous Chicagoans, or one glance at the current Chicago Tribune headlines proves that people here are made of sturdy stock.

But, I think the complaining about the weather is part of that charade. Part of the deal.

I've even fallen victim to it - I have seen temperatures of 105 and -11 register on my car thermostat. I have flown into Chicago from Phoenix in February and had the pilot actually LAUGH as he tells us that after leaving the 80 degree weather in Arizona, we were touching down in Chicago to temperatures of 20 below zero with a windchill. Which, for all of who not having gone to math camp, is a ONE HUNDRED DEGREE swing in the matter of four hours. I have called my Dad to laugh about the ridiculous swings in the weather here. I have even put my random complaints in various posts here. Maybe I'm just trying to blend in and sound native.

But, I mean, really? You never want it hot? Or cold? Or windy? Or still? Or humid? Or dry?

Seriously.

Where should these people live?

Where should I tell them to go? (Besides straight there.)

And, frankly, is there a train that will shuttle them there?

'Cause the one way ticket is on me.