First Aid for a Weary Traveler

With a long week of crazy and what's quickly becoming typical business travel, I'm going to write an open letter to the grievances of my week.

Dear God,

Seriously? The storms that you produced yesterday proved to us all that you're in charge. The lightning and the constant thunder and the monsoon and the wind and the trees blowing everywhere? You win. You got the power. We get it. One complaint. It is clear that we are nothing, and that you wield the control that we always suspected you have. But is it necessary to show off so much? And when I'm trying to overcome my run of bad luck traveling and just trying to get out of New Jersey and make it home to sleep in my own bed after a long week of client meetings and hotel rooms and rental cars and fast food? What if I promise to go to church more often?

Yours,

SinnerOntheMoveBeggingYou

__

Dear Johnson & Johnson Consumer Store,

Why is it that I get so smitten when I walk into the walls of your little shop? I don't really need any more Band-Aids, Neosporin, Tylenol, Purell or Neutrogena products, but at the wholesale prices you offer us as your contractors, employers and vendors, I can't stop myself. I now am the proud owner of a fully stocked first aid kit. And I don't even have children that are most often prone to bumps and bruises for which you so lovingly care. But, for $30, I can sure be proud to support my client's businesses - and bring home as many non-liquid products as I can squeeze into my suitcase. At least the guy at the TSA check-in didn't ask me any questions, this time.

Best,

ConsumerProductsShopaholic
__

Dear Sheraton Newark,

After being delayed at the airport, and then having our flight cancelled, and spending an hour on the phone with our travel agent, when we booked three separate rooms at your establishment, that was because we wanted three separate rooms. Seems simple enough. But when you can't seem to locate the reservations, and all that is left is one room with a King sized bed, and the underlings feel obligated to give it to their boss, and the other two are forced to share a room, it seems like a good idea until you get to the room. And see that it does not in fact have double beds, but one giant King sized bed. And then you realize that hotel bed sharing with colleague is all normal until it is almost midnight, you're both sleep deprived, she is asking for career advice and you're both under the covers in patterned pajamas. That's just weird.

Thanks,

BedSharingBoss
__

Dear TGIFriday's at Newark Airport,

Your menu should come with a warning sign - "This food, when ingested, will make you feel greasy, slimy, sick and utterly disgusting, and then you'll wake up with a start at 6 am in full sweats and will be totally grossed out by what you've consumed in the last 24 hours."

Sincerely,

FatEnoughforMoreFlair
__

Dear Lady at the American Airlines Gate,

Is it really so sunny that you have to wear sunglasses? Inside? When it is raining? Yeah. I didn't think so. Unless you're in the Witness Protection Program, recovering from Lasik surgery, or hiding from the paparazzi, you don't need the shades inside. They just make you look stupid, and annoy me unnecessarily.

Yours truly,

TheGirlStaringAtHerOwnReflection
__

Dear Cab Driver in Chicago,

It has finally reached temperatures above 70 degrees and the sun is blaring through the windshield of your cab, and I would appreciate you closing all the windows and turning on the air conditioning. Is it too much to ask that you do that, so that my hair won't collect behind my head in a spindly little blonde knot, sticking to my lip gloss in the front and matting to your pleather seat in the back? I am a good tipper, but I can't find my wallet when I can't see past the blonde tresses that are blowing everywhere. And if I have to ask you politely one more time and get that kind of attitude, I'll read to you the Passenger Bill of Rights that is framed and hanging in the back seat on the bumper divider that was made in upstate New York.

Again,

HairBall
__

There. I feel so much better now. And I didn't even have to pay a therapist for a couch visit.

Thanks for indulging me. Any grievances that you want to air? I'm all ears.

And sticky hair and fat belly and tired eyes.

With a helluva first aid kit.

Kind regards,

Colleen