Your vs. You're (The Online Edition)

And, to continue on last night's blog post tradition (can it be a tradition yet? Too soon?) of writing blog posts inspired by watching TV, here's a new one.

I was watching ABC's Castle last night, and the storyline was about a murder where the victim's face was covered with phrases that made the point the murderer was anxious to make.

The murderer wrote crazy short blurbs intended for the people that discovered the body. The police were left wondering. The author character, Rick Castle, who follows the NYPD around for research purposes, and to add just a dash of "sexy banter" to the show, was more perplexed by the improper and offensive use of grammar used in said blurbs.

At the crime scene, he even dropped the line, "The person that did this not only murdered our doc here, but he or she murdered the English language, too.

The victim's face read, "Your out of time."

ARGH.

I couldn't decide whether to nod in agreement, shake my head in disgust, or raise my fists to the TV.

I settled on all three, which led me to looking like a total crazy person on my couch, trying not to spill my wine.

I digress...

Castle, I feel your pain. Yes, your. Not "you're" because I quite like you and all your rugged handsomeness.

Readers, I cannot tell you how often this, well, issue, hits me in the face. I'm so tired of reading emails, cover letters, resumes, documents and online come-ons that have misused grammar in them. It is a downright atrocity how few grown adults know the proper use of the language. They've likely never even written a complete sentence, much less diagrammed one. Mrs. Rog would be so disappointed.

And, in this era of spellcheck, I know I've gone soft, but I can almost forgive a spelling error. But, I'm pretty sure not even the latest version of Vista or iLife comes with a program to tell you if you are bastardizing the English language.

I'm not embarrassed to admit that I've had an online dating profile out there. It's not pretty, but it does serve as some fodder for laughs, some time-killing distraction and some flattering come-ons.

But, in light of tonight's grammar-centric episode, I went in to my inbox to pull a few recent ones. And these are just from the last week!!

Hey you, just wondering if you would like enjoy a night on on the town before the snow buries us in. =( I would love to meet you, call me and let chat, -K

(Emoticons are in that grey area of male-speak. Ok? Annoying? Cutesy? You decide.)

Your really pretty and have a grate smile. Just thought you should know. Lets go out sometime? - D

(Two for the price of one!)

How long have you lived in Chicago? I grew up down south and I loved it their. -M

(So glad you moved up here to give Chicagoans a taste of what a "real" Southerner is capable! Thanks, buddy.)

You said you were tall and looking for someone to look up to. Thats me, in all cents of the word.

(I so wish I was inventing these, but alas, I'm not.)

I know, right?

Inexcusable.

Buried deep in my profile (you know, like 3 short paragraphs in, God forbid) is this sentence, which I believe should guide a man who wishes to contact me:

I am a sucker for a well-written email, and have to admit that I'm a stickler for proper grammar, too.

It hasn't helped.

I will remain single. Based on the supplied evidence, I do not hereby believe that the single men of Chicago know the difference between "your" and "you're" and "there" and "they're" and "their."

And, until they do, I'd prefer to just watch "Castle" and drink cheap wine on the couch by myself.

At least I know you're reading and rooting for me. Yes, you are. Get out there. See if your grammar can top theirs. I'm pretty sure it can't get worse. (See, now I'm just showing off).