If Only

This summer, my aunt was making me laugh as we talked about driving, getting lost, and wishing we weren't lost.

She's a realtor, so she's constantly in new areas, neighborhoods or towns, crisscrossing all over metro St. Louis.

I'm just in New Jersey.

Lost.

On the Turnpike.

Anyway, she mentioned that she's had the same GPS unit for years - why don't I have one of those installed around my neck? - and has always liked how the unit works, but had a few complaints.

It had a woman's voice with an American accent on it. She joked that she wasn't too fond of the tone or quality of the voice, but that the machine got her to her destination on time, and without sidetracking *unlike my stories* and was reliable to boot.

But she didn't really like having that lady, and her voice, accompany her on all of her ventures.

Until the day she dropped it.

The unit bounced across the floor, and she scrambled to retreive it, hoping that the damage wasn't irrevocable. The next time she plugged it into her car, headed for an appointment, the voice came on and announced the next move.

In a male voice. With a British accent.

She was startled, and then pleased. No one minds taking directions from a voice with such a lovely accent. And the Brits always sound smarter, so she trusted him immmensley.

Now, given my love for all things European, she suggested that if I didn't like a man I was dating, and dropped him on his head, the incident may quite possibly result in him speaking to me in British tones.

I may have to give that one a try. Any takers?

Devil in a Blue Suit?

Last night? I had dreams about high school.

Not the "I forgot my shirt and now I'm in class" or "I didn't study for the exam and now it is on my desk" or "I've missed the bus and now my mom has to drive me to school" or "I'm getting made fun of by the big bad senior girls" variety.

I think one part had people in it that I haven't seen in at least 15 years, and we were all just hanging out catching up. It was like a reunion, without the nametags or the rubber chicken. And, seriously? Her name came right to mind as I woke up. I may have to look her up.

One part had me playing basketball again, but I was this old, which should tell you something about the skill level. And the performance of my aching knees. I'm pretty sure I was in business attire, too.

And part one had me babysitting, or Dear God, maybe they were my kids? Either way, I had a baby and a toddler following me everywhere. I remember the faint smell of peanut butter and jelly.

The last part I can remember had me telling a girl "I was always picked last for sports in school." which honestly isn't true. I was tall, and on a Varsity team. Which didn't say much for my abilities when it came to soccer, rope climbing, Red Rover or other non-basketball/tennis/swimming events. But in my dreams, I was definitely the odd woman out.

Insecure much?

I tossed and turned and changed diapers and took jump shots all night.

I'm exhausted.

How Far?

My very first word doodle. Enjoy. Or don't. Felt good to me.


with impeccable timing
he* showed up
in my inbox
he was
so far away
yet
i
felt
so close
over
the course
i grew to know
him and his thoughts
somewhat
sometimes
it was a funny thing
really
this long-distance
something
that had potential
to heal
or hurt
in light of
how i'd been feeling
the words
that appeared
in the emails
or
the subtexts
were just
what
i'd needed
but didn't want
to fully
admit
to needing
the quick
wit
charm and compliments
made me laugh
and blush
and shiver
and dream
and smile
and more precisely
wonder
how far is too far
how close is too close
is it
ever enough
was i
deserving
of a
road trip
that required planning
or impulse
or guts
and mapquest
seemed to think
that the route
was walkable
and i know
he'd be
waiting for me
perched on a rock by the sea
because that's where i
picture him
wearing a
smirk
and a hat
i'm sure
about how i'd react
i am not as certain
about the hat
i'd be happy
of course
the bridge to cross
would be both
metaphorical
and
physical
to get there
but that's the fun
part
together
or apart

*Thanks for teaching me how.

Born to...Give Gap Prizes!

Well folks, the Gap Born to Fit contest is closed. And I'm very impressed! I got a lot of great entries on last Wednesday's post. In honor of Gap's new premium line of best fitting jeans, known as the Born to Fit line, I asked you to tell me what YOU were born to do.

On the line? Two prizes: a certificate for a FREE PAIR of Gap Jeans of your choice, and a $50 gift certificate for use at any Gap store.

I got quite a few great responses, and I had to choose the top two to award the gifts.

Let's get to it. Drum roll please?

The GRAND PRIZE goes to Lisa in Anaheim, California. Her comment was just perfect - honest, smart, illustrative of her personality and very, very fitting to the denim theme. Check it out below.

shuckiduck said...
I was born to be a jean break-in specialist.

I'm not kidding. If there was such a position, I'd be a great candidate. The jeans I have have gotten broken in to such a point - and past it - that in some spots they are threadbare and far too overloved. They get love at concerts when I'm working in the photo pits, they come along for the ride and get lived in when I jump on tour vans for weeks at a time. They are there when I go to my first string of rock shows seeing my favorite band for the first time, and mark on the tag that they were there with me (yep, happened 11 years ago, no joke). The stories that are woven into the cotton threads are numerous, and I never can let them go after they're well past their prime. To a revered spot in the closet or drawer they go, with hopes that they'll be patched and sewn up for more adventures.
-Lisa

Congratulations, Lisa!

You won a FREE pair of Gap Jeans - your choice of any of the styles - Perfect Boot, Sexy Boot, Real Straight, Long & Lean, Curvy, Always Skinny or the Boyfriend. Valued at $69.50! (See, it's a designer jean at a very reasonable price.) Email me at the address listed on my profile and give me your home address and I'll send you the gift card right away! Thanks for your entry. Keep reading, and have fun shopping at Gap.

---

The entry from the SECOND PLACE WINNER came in about an hour under the deadline. While much more straightforward than Lisa's response, I have to acknowledge the truth in it - she expressed an honest frustration that I heard over and over while hosting my Gap party. Girls of all heights fit great in the jeans we tried on, and I hope that you find a pair in which you were Born to Fit. (Trust me, it's not a lot easier to be 6' tall and buy jeans...you can't hem them longer, Susan.)

Susan said...
I was born to be a blog stalker, retail whore, and Petite advocate. Women 5'4 and under deserve great denim too! Can't wait to get to my local Gap and try these on. Great party!
-Susan

Congratulations, Susan!

You won a $50 Gap gift card, and you can use that towards anything your petite heart desires - a new pair of jeans would be almost paid for...in fact, right now, they are on sale, so this may be the best time to buy. I hope you find a pair that make you feel six feet tall and bulletproof. Email me at the address listed on my profile and give me your home address and I'll send you the gift card right away! Thanks for your entry, and now that you're no longer lurking, keep reading!

---

Thanks to all of the attendees, and to Sarah, Carrie, Krista, Katherine, Monica, Maggie and Kristen for your clever and fun entries. Next time!

If you've not left the house in the last few weeks, you may not know that the jeans are all on sale at Gap right now for $20 off - so now may be the best time ever to try a few on and see which one fits you best. Tell 'em Colleen sent you. (They'll look at you sideways and may even murmur something funny, but it sounded like a good idea, no?)

On a closing note...

I was...........Born to tell long stories. Clearly!

Gap Born to Fit Party & GIVEAWAYS!

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had the privilege to host a Gap Born to Fit party last night. Gap is celebrating its 40-year anniversary this year, and to celebrate, has re-engineered its 1969 jeans line in all new fits, styles and washes. And was it ever a good time!

As a Brand Enthusiast, I was able to invite quite a few lucky girls to attend - and was fortunate to have Brenna host the event. We energetically (at least in spirit!) climbed the 59 steps up to her gorgeous home (guided by my motivational signs, of course.



At the top, the girls were treated to a full spread of goodies courtesy of Gap. The guests had no idea what was in store for them...


First, I asked each girl to don a nametag, since not everyone knew each other.

In order to make it more fun, I added a "I was born to________." line for each girl to fill out. Apparently my friends are born to Eat, Shop, Laugh & Giggle, Dance, Dominate Traffic, Photograph, Give Big Hugs, Draw, and more. (I was Born to Boogie - so says my Mom - since she went into labor while at a disco. Explains a lot, doesn't it?)

We munched on appetizer treats, including "Born to Snack" popcorn (served in the darling branded bowl) and "Born to Indulge/Shop/Play/Love" M&Ms, and other enticing splurges.


The soundtrack for the evening's festivities was provided by yours truly; I handpicked and made "Girls, Denim & (No) Blues" CDs for each guest, and only slightly tweaked the song titles to fit the theme for the evening.



See below for the full playlist. No judging - the songs were chosen for their fit!


Before we dove into the jeans and the full-fledged shopping extravaganza, we gathered on the roofdeck to enjoy the gorgeous Chicago sunset.





With a roofdeck like Brenna (and her fantastic husband) owns, we were all seated comfortably around and could talk. I gave a quick, highly unprepared speech about what the party was about - and answered questions about Gap, the 1969 Born to Fit jeans, how I was selected and what was required of them (pretty much this: pick jeans, love jeans, shop Gap).





When the sun had fully set, we descended to the kitchen/Gap Jeans Bar to check out the jeans. Don'tcha just like the sound of that? Gap Jeans Bar. I know. Combines my two favorite things, too. As shown at the top of the post, there were the Sexy Boot in a medium wash, the Always Skinny in a dark wash and the Real Straight in a medium wash.


The girls and I immediately noticed - these weren't your Mom's jeans. If anyone walked into the party with a preconceived notion of what Gap jeans were like, they changed their mind pretty quickly. All ideas were changed fully as soon as the first girl tried them on. Wow! Each girl was stunned to see how long, lean, slim, stylish and, well, FIT they looked in them. Each style, each size, each wash - all the same. Perfect fits!


And the fabric, stitching, inseam, cut and general make of the jeans was far more detailed than ever before - the medium wash is incredibly soft - those jeans you could wear all day at work or to Target on a Saturday; the dark wash is perfect for a night out with heels or a casual brunch with flip flops.

Knowing my girlfriends, they are a hip bunch. They shop a lot, they like designer jeans, they love to look good (what woman doesn't?) and they will spend more if they think it is necessary to get the right quality and the right fit. I think the trying-on process proved to each girl that these ARE designer jeans - at everyday prices.

I loved watching each girl choose one or two pairs, head back to the Born to Fit(ting) rooms and come out to model their pick.



Looking good, huh? Born to Fit indeed!


Catwalking was not required, but everyone seemed happy to strike a pose.

I was the proud mama watching each girl squeal in delight to realize they fit in a smaller size, or could finally love a skinny jean!, or could even wear THOSE heels with the bootcut pair. I was proud to be able to show these girls the way. Thanks, Gap.

After the try-on session, we indulged in Giordano's thin crust pizza - a Chicago staple. Shopping works up an appetite! As an aside, I loved watching my friends, from all different circles or times of my life, mix and mingle together. All in the name of good jeans.

As the night wound down, I made sure each girl had gotten the pair of their dreams - and if not, I made sure to send them home with a Jeans certificate good for a pair of their choice at Gap. Some of the bootcut sizes were awfully long (not everyone in my life is, ahem, 5'12"), but most opted to take the pair and have them hemmed to just the right length - when they are free, it isn't much of a splurge!

Finally, each guest got to take a Born to Fit reusable tote bag for their goods - another great idea by Gap - and they were more than happy to mug for photos with 'em.



I may be born to blog, or boogie, or host parties, or tell long stories, or wear LONG jeans, or stay up late, or drink wine, or love Macs, or eat french fries, or miss Georgia...

But seriously?

My girls are Born to Fit in with one another.

Hugging their new friends, and clutching their new gifts, they embarked on the 59 steps down to leave for the night.




Thanks to all who attended, and especially to Justine from Brand About Town for allowing us the opportunity to try Gap's new jeans and enjoy one another. Check out the full set of pictures from the party here.

I certainly think we've proved to a lot of girls that Gap jeans are hip, cool, stylish, comfortable, sexy and made for every body. They are worth a second look if you've not been to Gap in awhile, and if you have, stop back in and check 'em out! You may never spend money on designer jeans again.

But wait! Don't go!

What's in it for you?

I have a contest. I have two prizes to award: a certificate for a FREE PAIR of Gap Jeans of your choice, and a $50 gift certificate for use at any Gap store.

What's the deal?

By Monday at 7 pm CT, tell me (in the comments) what YOU were born to do. I will choose, in a highly subjective, entirely random manner, the top two answers, and will re-post your answer in a special Born To blog next week, along with the prize announcements.

Ok. Got that?

What were YOU Born To do? Get creative. This isn't just "work." or "breathe." This has to be something CLEVER.

Jeans and Gap shopping is on the line, people!

All you blog lurkers (defined as those that visit but don't comment) are free to come out of the woodwork now! Thanks again Gap.

You and I? We're Born to Fit.

See & Saw

It is both a blessing and a curse.

A convenience and an inconvenience.

A delicious luxury and a ridiculous time waster.

A connector and a separator.

A critical forum and a trivial outlet.

A privilege and a detriment.

A must-have and a should-do-without.

What is it, that sparks so many conflicting opinions in me?

What is it, that creates such a see-saw of emotions?

Do guess. I dare you.

*********************************

Ok. Since I haven't been all that diligent about posting this month, I won't keep you waiting any longer. Not especially since we all likely know exactly to what I refer.

Facebook.

Spend one hour perusing the pages of the social networking site, and you'll find yourself conflicted too, I bet. If you're honest with yourself, that is.

You'll likely be any combination, if not all of the below, of the following: wrapped up in other people's lives, overly concerned with the smallest of details, obsessed with how your life is being showcased for the masses, connected to people with whom you never would have rekindled friendships otherwise, back in touch with people that you no longer care about knowing, frustrated by the passive aggressiveness of the status update wars and any number of other results.

You'll spend time oohing and aahing at lovely children, dogs, cats, vacations, weddings, tourist attractions, renovations, first homes, in-laws, parties, graduations, childbirths, and, sadly, even deaths.

You'll find yourself comparing your life, meager or full as it may be in reality, to others' lives as they appear in the social networking version of reality.

You'll be shocked by gossip, affairs, job losses, new hires, career changes, marital issues, sibling rivalry and many other states of the personal union.

But nothing is personal anymore, now is it?

Today I realized that, while I'm as big of a fan as anyone else, that the social networking site that has brought us together is likely to tear us apart after all. I can't even carry on a conversation with anyone anymore that maintains any sense of pre-Facebook normalcy. No news is news anymore until it has hit the site's cyberspace. Nothing is real until Facebook confirms it is so. I can't even fill my mother in on anything anymore - what used to be a healthy chat filled with stories about my life, my friends and what's going on in our world, which incidentally is 1,000 miles from her geographical location, is now merely a "I saw that" and "I read that" and "I looked at those pictures" recounting.

It saddens me to think that this is what it has become.

I'm not above it, or morally objecting, or even withdrawing from it entirely - frankly, I feel like if I did, I'd lose the connections to the small social circle I currently have. No, on the contrary. I find that I need to just accept that this is the new reality, our new way of operating socially, and just adjust and move on.

It is just hard - I find that spending time on Facebook creates, or spotlights, other insecurities that I may have done well to stifle, or at least hide. I know now that I am one of VERY FEW from my high school graduating class that is not sad this week to send their kids off to school, to miss her husband as she/he travels, to take the dog/cat/hamster to the veterinarian, to indulge on a week's long vacation somewhere fantastic this summer, to visit the lake/beach/mountain house/cottage/cabin in the past few months, to buy/sell/rent a new car/house/boat or to change my appearance by cutting/dyeing/styling my hair differently, losing/gaining weight, running/biking/walking a marathon/triathalon/charity event in the past few months.

I know I sound bitter.

I'm not - it is just hard to realize that the good news I do have, or may possibly have, is so vastly different from my peers. I don't begrudge them a thing - I am thrilled for them, and honestly, genuinely glad to get to see how life has changed them and made them happy, full and rich with blessings.

For me, I do long to be in a relationship, not just so my "status" can change on Facebook, but so that I can finally find something real. I long to have children, not to just have albums filled with their firsts, but to truly experience the joy that a family can bring. I long to have a house and a yard and vacations and other things that my peers are fortunate to have - but it is just not my time yet.

It hit me hard today when I saw posted something that triggered old emotions that I thought were long since buried. Those emotions are less about what they refer to, and more about what they signify - I'm ready to have some news, ready to be able to announce to the world, in whatever format that pleases me, that I, too, have something to celebrate.

Until then, I'll continue to witness, read, browse, listen, cheer on, encourage, cherish and applaud others' exciting news.

Even if I only read about it on my Facebook news feed.

Addendum 8/12:
After reading the comments below, I feel obligated to confess that there was far less "whining, woe is me" intended in this post than people have picked up on. It was more "can you believe we never talk to each other any more (guilty as charged) but know everything about the loser from our high school class" and "I can't even talk to my mom without her saying something she read about so-and-so on Facebook"...but clearly you guys know that I've had a rough year and are great to comment to help. I just feel bad that you have to boost me up YET AGAIN. When I wrote this, I wasn't even really THAT bad off but I've learned that heartbreak, and the healing that ensues, is a bit like suffering a bruise - it hurts a lot at first, and then later it only hurts when you bump directly into it. Ya know?