There seems to be one unifying, constant, ever-present plane-leveler in the giant game of life.
Time.
We can likely all agree on several things about the concept of time:
- There never is enough time in a day.
- Even if you had more, you'd still find a way to waste time.
- People have a tendency to procrastinate to fill a space of time to complete a given task.
- No one can stop time, despite surgical and cosmetic efforts to mask the results of it.
- Try as you may, sometimes you misjudge the amount of time it takes to get somewhere, and you're just not on time.
- Time on the weekends moves at mach speed, where a Tuesday after lunch during a boring day at the office can stretch out for eternity.
- Time heals. Not everything, but does a pretty good job at helping you move on.
- We all age. Period.
- Time takes its toll, on relationships, careers, bodies, homes, cars and people.
- Death and taxes. Both are unavoidable, and both will hit you in due time.
- Time flies when you're having fun; cliched, but true.
I have been thinking a lot about time lately, due to several factors:
Summer
Because of the short span of summer in Chicago, it all feels like a race against time. I have 'summer guilt' if I spend a sunny Saturday inside rather than outside enjoying the many activities this city offers. Self-inflicted guilt, but real nonetheless. There aren't enough Saturdays in the three short months of this glorious stretch of weather, and the feeling of the summer slipping away that grips me as we approach mid-August is tangible.
Ask any Chicagoan—they know exactly what I mean. I'm pretty sure if we could, we'd all add at least one more month to summer, giving us more precious time to lay on North Avenue Beach, wander Millennium Park and stare at The Bean's reflection of the skyline, leisurely shop the boutiques along Armitage Avenue, dine al fresco at any number of sidewalk cafes that spring up in the summer, catch an old movie classic in Grant Park, enjoy a concert under the stars on a picnic blanket at Ravinia, ooh and aah at the Navy Pier fireworks from land or the lake, leave town for a delicious weekend on the shores in Michigan, attend that perfect outdoor wedding, or any other fabulous outdoor summer treats.
Reunions
My younger sister just had her 10-year high school reunion in Atlanta. How did time go so fast that my little sister, with whom I shared a childhood, a car, school memories, a sorority and post-college experiences, get old enough that she's celebrating TEN YEARS out of high school?
While looking at her photos, I realized that time can also work wonders. Some good, some bad. Those popular girls? Still cute, but not earth shatteringly so, anymore. The dorks? Turned out that they were pretty cool folks and have made great successes out of themselves. The "fast" crowd? They're all burned out. The skinny girls? Put on weight. The fat girls? Most lost it. Things all tend to even themselves out. I was impressed and amazed how great her whole group looked—some with children, some with husbands, some with girl/boyfriends, but all with big smiles. I think they collectively realize that time has changed them, but mostly for the better.
Networks
As with the above, the incredibly addictive spread of the social networking sites has proven yet one more thing about time to me. Time changes people, and levels out the playing field quite a bit. It appears that cliques from high school still exist to some degree, but the rules are more flexible, the edges of the circle are blurry and the groups are all interchangeable.
Basically, people are all anxious to see how everyone has enjoyed/spent the time since high school when we were all young, naive and insecure. Life has been good to most of the people I've reconnected with, and I'm happy to see how positively time has treated them. I do, on one hand, feel like I blinked twice and all these years have flown by. I'm guessing it wasn't quite that fast, but who's to say.
Loss
Two people in my office have recently lost their mothers, one due to age and one who succumbed sadly to cancer at far too young of an age. It chokes me up to even think about what I would do in this situation, and how I would even manage to get out of bed. Not just right after the death, but for a long time afterwards. I can't fathom, but must believe that the human spirit triumphs and keeps you going. Time heals, but I must believe that that loss is never very far from your mind and your heart.
My mom lost her mother when I was just eight months old, when my mom was just 26, and I can't imagine. For quite some time I was too young to comprehend what this would mean, and how I'd feel, but now, as a young woman in my own right, it is impossible for me to think about losing someone so close to you without having them be in your thoughts every day. I hope that time begins to soften the blow of loss, even if it can never fully erase it.
Relationships
As I mentioned in my post about faith, time has a serious affect on relationships, of the romantic and platonic nature. Time can be a blessing or a curse, sometimes both at the same time. Friendships can fizzle out over time, those bonds that you thought were indestructible, those friends with whom you shared everything, proved to be just a moment in time. Those friends were there to be a part of your life, and then they're gone.
On the flip-side, those friendships that you made very young, like my Posse, still hold true, and the strength of the bond grows even more powerful with time on its side. These are the friends that can go six months and not talk, and when they do, it is as if no time has passed at all. I treasure that feeling.
My parents celebrated 35 years of marriage on Monday, and it is amazing to them how fast that has gone by. My mom always says that she looks in the mirror with the mind of a 25 year old and has a moment of shock and disbelief when the woman that is her now looks back at her. I can already feel her pain—seeing old high school photos of me recently made me realize that time has changed me, too, and sometimes I'm surprised by just how much.
Time to Get to the Point
So, the lessons to me are simple:
Enjoy the time I have. Life is short, change is inevitable and it is up to me to make the most of my time here. Whether that is to mean my time in Chicago (I may not be here forever), the time in my (relative) youth, my time with friends and family and my time on Earth.
I also need to be patient. Rest assured that time will bring with it the desired events, the experiences I crave and the joys I anticipate. I'm not missing out because my schedule isn't the same as the next gal's. Time is out of my hands and I should enjoy today and stop thinking about tomorrow. As the refrain goes in RENT, there really is "no day but today."
Thank you, Father Time. I still believe you know best.
(Though I wouldn't turn down an extra month of summer in Chicago).
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