The Art of a Good Marriage

At this very moment, as you are reading this, I am in driving up to Mackinac Island, Michigan to attend the wedding festivities of my two dear friends Jill and Josh.

I have been asked to be a reader at their ceremony, which is being held tomorrow morning at 11 am in The Little Stone Church on the island. They have made many great non-traditional choices for their wedding, all of which make it totally and uniquely theirs. Very special, I think.

One of those great choices that "breaks the rules" a bit is the addition of a reading from somewhere other than the Bible. The text of this reading is below, and it is really good advice.

I can almost hear my grandparents telling me this stuff from their point of view, about marriage in general, from the experience of those who lasted a long, long time. The exact story is blurry in my memory, but I do know that my grandparents met at an military dance in Iowa in their early 20s, and ran off to elope in Cheyenne, Wyoming a VERY short time later. Like a month or something wild. Clearly they took a risk on love, but it worked.

My grandparents, on my parents' wedding day, 1973
My Gramps is in heaven now, and enjoyed many long and happy years of marriage. I'm pretty sure that he's up there hoping that I make these choices for myself when I get married someday.

---
The Art Of A Good Marriage
Wilferd Arlan Peterson

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.

In marriage the little things are the big things.

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.

It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.

It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.
---

Isn't that beautiful?

On this day, and from this day forward, I wish these things for my friends.

Not just those getting married this weekend, but those who have already made this commitment and celebrated this day. I will pray that they embody these sentiments each day of their marriage. And, as their friend and witness, I will do everything I can, when called upon to do so, to be a positive influence and assistant to making these very things come true.

Because, to borrow a phrase, that is the art of a good friendship.

Shouldn't Be Surprised...

...that men don't seem to want to get married. Cue "Vortex" music.


Good God.

I'm running off to an island somewhere. That's it. Not that a wedding is a near-to-me possibility, or even a tiny threat to my sanity in the imminent future, but this is ridculous.

Plus, I don't even like cake.

*Yeah for me. My first video post. Aren't I sassy?

Down the Drain

This post proves that love is sometimes thicker than...

sewage?

A guy in Virgina and his wife were cleaning an office building this weekend for extra money, and in preparation of the job, the wife took off her wedding ring while walking across the parking lot. She dropped it, and it rolled right into a sewer.

She panicked, and her husband dove into action. Quite literally.

He stripped down to his skivvies, took off the metal sewer grate, and climbed down in. He told the news reporter who covered the story that there were fish and "unidentifiable floaty things" down there in the mucky, murky, nasty water.

No luck.

The guy, clearly a devoted husband or supremely stubborn, goes to the store, buys a scuba-diving wet suit, fashions a metal screen MacGyver style, and goes back down the drain.

Still no luck.

He calls the professionals in, and they go to town pumping out the water using a sifting screen, and they eventually score the ring. (What did THAT cost the taxpayers?) By this time Wife was watching this all unfold on the local news. Husband (and his clever determination) saves the ring!

Seven years of marriage has either taught him that the ring is the symbol for their love and it was worth saving, or that his wife is not one to mess with, or that diamonds are clearly worth their weight in...sewage?

Husband clearly gets to milk this one for quite some time, and I'd bet he's having fun while doing so. I'm picturing lots of remote-control-hogging, guilt-free boys nights out, no-dishes duty, fatty-food-laden-dinners, and lots and lots of lovin'.

Cause that's what he deserves.