I feel like I must preface this post with a reason. Otherwise, this comes way out of left field.
This post was prompted when I read one by a blogger in Canada (a single male) who mentions his frustration at meeting women today after the love of his life ended things so abruptly. He's quite quirky and hilarious, and his post today made me think. And comment something, albeit shorter and more rambly, like this.
Whoever said you should, or could, meet singles in the grocery store has never followed me while I'm there. I go so infrequently because I hate it so much. I miserably enter the store, but I always follow the same pattern of behavior while inside.
I hurriedly scour the aisles, in the same order each time. I go quickly from produce (the far right of my store) and circle around through bread, soups and condiments, to the cereal aisle (where I always buy at least 2 boxes of Special K with Red Berries, unless it is on sale and then I really stock up looking like the crazy cereal woman), and then I make my way past the butcher and the seafood guy and curve towards the dairy aisle. There I scoop up about 10 yogurts, grab some cottage cheese, and haul a gallon of milk and a carton of OJ into my basket.
Oh, and I'm usually dragging that little plastic "yes I cook for one" basket over my arm with the handles stretched beyond the norm into bendy-dom and my right arm has huge, red, swollen indentations in it from loading too much into that little guy and I am nearing a state of misery when I finally find my way in the liquor and beer aisle (the far left of my store) and I grab a few must-haves from over there.
Then I skate past the 3-for-$12 bouquets (oh how I wish someone else was buying the fresh cut flowers) and head over to the checkout lane. I'm scanning the gossip headlines while I secretly rue the day I chose the 15 year-old checkout person's line who has to radio over the speaker for a "21" to come ring up my wine, causing the whole checkout line to sigh and harumph while we wait for that person to casually make their way over to my lane to help out the rude youngster, and I can't really blame them. I should have gone with the self-checkout line since I'm only buying about 12 things that will inevitably cost me $75.
Shaking my head at the lack of customer service that is present anywhere in America today (except super-duper Nordstrom lady), I storm out of there because I'm so hungry and my feet hurt and I just can't get home fast enough to open the bottle of wine that made my basket so heavy. The four block walk makes my arms ache, just proving the need to work out more. Which is an activity that I dislike even more than grocery shopping.
Yeah. Not the time to get hit on. Note to my single male readers: the grocery store is a horrible, awful place and I can't imagine that most women would like to be asked out over a stack of Lean Cuisines.
But maybe that was just me.
(And, yes, it feels good to say that last line in the past tense.)
Posts
9 comments:
Hahahaha. Love this post. Because when I shop alone, I always use the little basket (to limit how much I buy) and Sweets makes fun of me because I always really need the basket. And when we shop together, we buy about 4 boxes of cereal, because I have a cereal-crazed fiance. Who also buys a gazillion things of yogurt. And while we substitute soy for milk and usually skip the wine, our experiences seem awfully darn similar. Definitely not a place to meet someone. Especially considering when I was single, I was normally there after a really sweaty workout. Ick!
I have to agree on the "I hate to grocery shop" thing. I think I hate this more than just about anything. Even working out. Totally a crappy chore. I would rather clean my bathroom than go into a giant Publix and hunt and gather for my food. Especially when I spend over $100 for one little person and I throw away $87 worth when it goes bad because it is IMPOSSIBLE to cook for just one.
BUT, I have recently learned that not only is cooking for two easier and way more exciting, but having someone to push the basket/buggy/cart (depending on where you live) with you makes it more tolerable and even fun.
What a difference perspective makes. Spouses, children, doctors visits, school etc... Going to the grocery store alone is a dream. Taking your time when you only need four things (that's for you Jenny) and browsing through the many choices of rice or salad dressing, even though they are not on your list, can be a peace filled solace that you enjoy. The only thing that could make it better is to be allowed to open that bottle of wine and enjoy it as you browse.
Great post, lady!
Though, technically, the ending of the relationship was mutual, and seemed to last foooorever. :)
Part of it has to do with the attitude with which you push your cart....
Has anyone ever asked you out through your blog?
The grocery store is my favorite place to be. So many options, so many different routes for meals and the 3/$12 are the best.
Next time you go to the store, call me, i will come pick you up, push the cart and show you the joys, one asile at a time!!
The shopping cart would really make your grocery store experience a lot less painful. Milk, wine and OJ are all very heavy items, Coll! I am sure the cute P.T. guy would agree with me, too! ;)
You also need to push the cart the way your Mom does!
one thing that i like to do when grocery shopping is to find a new item i've never had before. It makes shopping a little more fun. We live in such a great time where we have so many choices, might as well take advantage of that and try some fun new things. :-)
Post a Comment