What I Know Now?

I just got an email from the UGA Alumni Association asking for submissions to a "brochure" of sorts that they distribute to both incoming freshman and graduating students. It is intended to be a collection of advice from alumni, fellow Dawgs sharing the "if onlys" that ring in their ears now, that would have made their lives easier if they'd known them earlier.

Somehow I don't think my list would get published. But, damn, ain't they the truth.

If Only I Knew Then:

• That the beer taps at Georgia Theater have not been cleaned since the early century, and drinking draft beer there is a bad idea, unless you really like puking.
  
  
• That the classes that stress you out the most are likely the ones that are filling your head (albeit temporarily) with nonsense that will have absolutely no bearing on your real "adult" life. NO ONE has ever stood in the grocery store and thought, man, this recipe would have been much harder to shop for if I hadn't taken Advanced Physics.
  
  
• That being in the right sorority or fraternity isn't half as important as the group of friends you make while in college. Whether they were your sisters, your neighbors, your teammates or your classmates, the friendships you form while in school aid you through an amazing, challenging, interesting, crazy-fun time in your life.
  
  
• That under no uncertain circumstances should you graduate in 4 years with no summers spent on campus. It is just a cryin' shame to leave college that soon.
  
  
• That double vodkas WILL make you black out. Or throw up. No questions asked.
  
  
• That it would be worth giving up a football season or a spring on campus to study abroad. I still regret this, and wish someone had just put me on a plane with a map and a backpack. I'd have figured it out.
  
  
• That while the freedom from your parents will be exhilirating, at some point about halfway through college you realize that you miss them, and like being with them. Even if they're not handing you money. I think it is a hint at "adulthood," but I could be wrong. It may just be because your mom lets you bring home a huge bag of laundry, and always homecooks a meal for you.
  
  
• That no one, not even your first job interview, will give a rats ass about what your GPA was, or what you scored on your SATs. Not one person. What they ought to teach you is more "Office Life 101" or "Interviewing Skills 200." Those things would be much more educational and beneficial than high scores or fancy Latin titles after your name on graduation day.
  
  
• That there is nothing that can make Jim Beam taste good in the morning. No, not even fried chicken at a football tailgate. Nothing.
  
  
• That while staying up 'til 2 in the morning every night is fun, but you'll most likely catch up on your sleep in class (the pen may also leak through your notepad and you may drool) and professors will notice you more this way than if you just stayed in bed.
  
  
• That no matter how good at them you are, in the end, keg stands and beer bongs are meant for, and should be left to, boys. Period.
  
  
• That the four (five, six, seven?) years you spend in college is the easiest time in your life. You are still on your parents' health insurance, you don't have real responsibilities, you don't have to remember the drycleaning/doctor's appointments/credit card bills/mortgage payments/kids. You may not even have a job, because ultimately, school is your job. And that is the easiest job you'll ever have.
  
  
• That it is a powerful and useful life-long skill to master "flippy cup" and it is a good investment in your social future. Especially if you plan to move to the Midwest. Heck, throw in a few corn hole training sessions and you'll be a party hit for life.
  
  
• That just because he says he will call you if you do it, he won't, and you'll be sorry you did. And, everyone will know about it by the time you make it to your 10 am class.
  
  
• That there is absolutely no reason to wear giant Greek letters across your chest. I know, I know, they tell you it is in good spirit, and that you'll feel a sense of belonging, but really, it is an immature way to express yourself. Go buy a University sweatshirt and just enjoy being a part of something even bigger.
  
  
• That your body will likely never look as good as it does now, so stop obsessing, starving yourself and comparing your body to other girls—this is the time you should be celebrating your youthful looks and just get the heck over it.
  
  
• That under no uncertain circumstances should you EVER let your counselor talk you into taking a class that starts before 9 am. You'll regret it, you'll hate your counselor, and your grades (and your partying) will suffer.
  
  
• That even if you don't like football, there is something quite powerful about being one in a crowd of thousands all rooting for the same thing. I think they call it pride, and it gives me goosebumps even today. And, no, you don't have to let this pride make you crazy and paint your chest, do the wave, or run naked across the field. The word fan came from "fanatics" for a reason.
  
  
• That you shouldn't deny the fact that every day of the week has a great reason to socialize, and that you should be there. Maybe it is $1 burger Mondays, or $2 taco Tuesdays, or $.25 beer Thursdays, or live music Sundays, but there's always a good reason. And you should milk 'em before life comes at you and the hangovers hurt more and the deadlines are more real and your boss doesn't like you rolling in late. Just go.
  
  
• That it would be really hard to leave. I mean, crying as you close the door to your senior apartment hard. Literally sobbing as you drive down the street and pull onto the highway difficult. Seeping sadness all the way down the (short, 60 mile) road to "home," which, quite frankly, just feels different.
  

I may try to submit a few of these. I wish someone had done it for me.